Not really worth the wait

I turned on my television last night to see that my prayers had finally been answered. Suddenly here was a television show to do my 46" screen justice.

Move aside High Definition Dexter. Farewell The Restaurant. Sling your hook UKtv Drama repeats of Tom Baker era Doctor Who. There's a new show in town, and it is about to rock our world.

Ever since I gave up on the idea of 3-D television I've been a huge fan of old school variety. You know, a bit of a song here, a bit of a dance there, maybe a musical number, mixed up with some family friendly stand up, with a pretty lady showing a bit of leg singing a song for the Dads.

I've also been a big fan of Vernon Kay. The tall man from Bolton has long been a guarantee of quality early evening entertainment, Just The Two Of Us, Hit Me Baby One More Time, All Star Family Fortunes, that one where you've got to beat the celebrity. And his overplayed accent is priceless, reminiscent of Cilla on Blind Date.

But of course my favourite thing in the whole world is the outrageous Joan Rivers. Ever since she was introduced to me in her outrageous chat show Can We Talk? I've been fan of her outrageous comedy and the way she says outrageous things. Honestly, some of the things she says are outrageous!

Put them all together and you should have television gold. He's tall and a bit cheeky, she's outrageous and the things she says are outrageous, the sexual chemistry should be electric. Welcome to For One Night Only.

And yet, and yet. Somehow it didn't work. It all seemed a little contrived. When I found out that "The Jersey Boys" were going to be on, singing a special set of tunes especially for the television show, I could have cried with anticipation. But when they came on, it was all I could do to stop vomiting.

Was it too much of a good thing? It sort of reminded me of way back in 1993, when my three favourite things were Doctor Who, EastEnders and of course 3-D television. The special Doctor Who episode, Dimensions in Time, which had the Doctor, joining the cast of EastEnders, all filmed in 3-D seemed like the best television programme ever. It looked so good on paper. How could it fail? And yet, and yet.

Never mind July - what about August

Many apologies to what is left of our dwindling fan base for the lack of material to brighten your lives in the past few months. I too disgust myself. I have been so busy enjoying the great British summer to watch any TV. It has been one long string of beach parties, bbq's and surfboarding. Oh and I changed internet provider and it took a while to work. Good old sky.

Anyway -what has Davie been watching I hear you muse. Well of course my dear friends I have been watching the same old trite that I normally watch, Eastenders(ok), the Bill (brilliant as usual) and my old favourite Dragons Den is back. DD appears to have become a split camp between with Pete and his old mucker Theo on one side and dozy Dunc and the recruitment bloke on the other. All 4 are scared of Deborah so she does not need to take sides. If their is an investable proposition then Pete and Theo will outbid and outcharm Dunc and let's call the other bloke Jimmy. Time after time Dunc and Jimmy look really sad after being gazumped by Pete and Theo. Of course P&T do not always invest - when they do declare themselves out, it is great to see the look of delight on Duncs face. He will then make an offer which is often accepted but then he looks along the line to see P&T doubled up with laughter after seen him throw another £100k into a pointless venture. It is like watching a kitten drown - cruel but strangely you find yourself unable to turn away.

That's all for now - let's hope Mickey gets off his lazy backside and blogs soon