Many apologies dear readers blah blah blah. I know it appears that we have lost interest in you. Well for a brief moment we did but after a heart rendering late night chat over the washing up on Saturday night, Mickey and Davie are back. Well, Davie is. Mickey might be back tomorrow.
What is good - the Apprentice remains my favourite current programme. I am glad my pick, the ginger one has gone. Never have I not wanted to win as much. What a terrible human being she appears to be. I am loving Raef and warming to fat Clare. Lee McQueen strikes me as a bit dim but likable and I would like to see him do well. The small squat, Michael, I believe he is called must go next. To classify people who would not pay £600 for a fairy cake from a pushy middle-class first class a-hole like him as "dum-dums" was a step too far for me. And is 1977 0 who uses the phrase "dum-dum" anymore??. Right I have to go for my tea now - more ramblings on Wednesday my friends. Keep the faith.
Monday, 19 May 2008
Thursday, 24 April 2008
Bad Mickey
I haven't posted in weeks. It's very bad, and like Davie in his last post, I am apologising to you, our many dear readers. Here's a selection of ramblings to make you wish I'd not bothered.
There's a lot of good television at the moment. It's difficult to find fault!
Yes, there are the adverts for mobile phone networks which have got nothing to do with mobile phones, and seem to say that buying a mobile phone will allow you to live in a world of teddy bears, or that buying a mobile phone will make you part of a gang of utter tools who have nothing better to do than pretend to make a rainbow with some coloured material.
And there's the advert for Loyd Grossman food products which in summary says "Buy the Loyd Grossman food product because Loyd Grossman talks with an unusual accent which people imitate." Who cares that it might taste like burnt sick*, listen to the way he says things!! It's unusual!
* I've not tried it but I'm sure it doesn't
At least they're better than that godawful one with the gorilla playing the drums. Eeh, it's so good. Look at the gorilla playing the drums!! Looka! He's playing the drums!! Buy our choccy cos the monkey's on the drums!! What's that all about? And it's not as if he's playing anything cool. He's playing Phil Collins! Phil Collins the man who decided it would be a good idea to do a cover version of the Cyndi Lauper whine-a-thon "True Colo(u)rs" and that all he cared about was that there would have to be lots of children in the video. Not exactly Pete Doherty.
So, the Apprentice. There are some hateful people in it this year. Out of the initial sixteen, only four of them seem to have any sense of humanity about them. The rest are vicious back-stabbing hateful blame throwing buckpassing egotistical delusional cocks.
Of the final eleven, I only have respect for Lucinda, Raef and LeeMcQueen. The other eight are all trying to be a cross between Hopkins (the nasty one from last year - don't get me started on her, seriously) and Ruth "Ruth Badger off of the Apprentice" Badger.
Alex, obviously, is a weasely (sp?) Jason Orange wannabe who spends all the task working out what is going wrong and making sure that someone else can be blamed for it.
My pick (see one of the posts below, the only mistake I've made so far this year), Jennifer, has not a shred of humanity within her cold cold soul. All she knows is how utterly brilliant she is at selling. And she's completely humourless.
Whenever Jenny, Davie's pick, speaks up for someone nasty, or belittles someone nice, she does it with such passionate monotony she dirties my soul. Kittens die when she smiles.
But the worst is Claire. Plain speaking Claire. No nonsense Claire. Ruth Badger wannabe Claire. Me me me Claire. Last night she cried as she won her task through bad planning, complacency, panic and luck. But if you'd tasted those tears, readers, you would have died. Pure poison.
So there you have it, a summary of all that is great about British television. Come back in another four weeks for another bunch of stuff about how I don't watch Britain's Got Talent and my thoughts on the advert from a few months ago where Pierce Brosnan tells gentlemen everywhere that they are indeed worth it.
There's a lot of good television at the moment. It's difficult to find fault!
Yes, there are the adverts for mobile phone networks which have got nothing to do with mobile phones, and seem to say that buying a mobile phone will allow you to live in a world of teddy bears, or that buying a mobile phone will make you part of a gang of utter tools who have nothing better to do than pretend to make a rainbow with some coloured material.
And there's the advert for Loyd Grossman food products which in summary says "Buy the Loyd Grossman food product because Loyd Grossman talks with an unusual accent which people imitate." Who cares that it might taste like burnt sick*, listen to the way he says things!! It's unusual!
* I've not tried it but I'm sure it doesn't
At least they're better than that godawful one with the gorilla playing the drums. Eeh, it's so good. Look at the gorilla playing the drums!! Looka! He's playing the drums!! Buy our choccy cos the monkey's on the drums!! What's that all about? And it's not as if he's playing anything cool. He's playing Phil Collins! Phil Collins the man who decided it would be a good idea to do a cover version of the Cyndi Lauper whine-a-thon "True Colo(u)rs" and that all he cared about was that there would have to be lots of children in the video. Not exactly Pete Doherty.
So, the Apprentice. There are some hateful people in it this year. Out of the initial sixteen, only four of them seem to have any sense of humanity about them. The rest are vicious back-stabbing hateful blame throwing buckpassing egotistical delusional cocks.
Of the final eleven, I only have respect for Lucinda, Raef and LeeMcQueen. The other eight are all trying to be a cross between Hopkins (the nasty one from last year - don't get me started on her, seriously) and Ruth "Ruth Badger off of the Apprentice" Badger.
Alex, obviously, is a weasely (sp?) Jason Orange wannabe who spends all the task working out what is going wrong and making sure that someone else can be blamed for it.
My pick (see one of the posts below, the only mistake I've made so far this year), Jennifer, has not a shred of humanity within her cold cold soul. All she knows is how utterly brilliant she is at selling. And she's completely humourless.
Whenever Jenny, Davie's pick, speaks up for someone nasty, or belittles someone nice, she does it with such passionate monotony she dirties my soul. Kittens die when she smiles.
But the worst is Claire. Plain speaking Claire. No nonsense Claire. Ruth Badger wannabe Claire. Me me me Claire. Last night she cried as she won her task through bad planning, complacency, panic and luck. But if you'd tasted those tears, readers, you would have died. Pure poison.
So there you have it, a summary of all that is great about British television. Come back in another four weeks for another bunch of stuff about how I don't watch Britain's Got Talent and my thoughts on the advert from a few months ago where Pierce Brosnan tells gentlemen everywhere that they are indeed worth it.
Tuesday, 15 April 2008
Bad Davie
Many apologies dear readers. It has been too long etc. Since you last enjoyed my sideways glance at life, I have become a huge fan of Mad Men. It is on BBC4 and I rarely watch BBC4. But Mad Men is top notch Sunday night entertainment. The funny thing is that not a lot happens in each episode apart from a lot of smoking, lead character Don straying with a female client and his attractive mrs cooking him some food and looking pretty hot. But it is strangely addictive and I still cannot work out why.
Of course I have also been enjoying the Apprentice. True, I am beginning to regret choosing the ginger one as my pre-series pick to win as it appears that she is the nearest thing to the devil since the posh one from last year. But it is fantastic TV and it would appear that the producers have gone out of their way to find some of the thicket people in the UK. They need to keep Kevin the bank manager (really ? Is he perhaps someone who once opened a bank account as opposed to someone who approves loans of millions of pounds) and Raith for as long as possible. I did think the tough looking one, Lee would win but he appears to have started referring to himself in the third person (and that is never a good sing - it was exactly this that lead to the downfall of Clark Datchler and Johnny hates Jazz) but now I think it may be the soldier, Simon.
Of course I have also been enjoying the Apprentice. True, I am beginning to regret choosing the ginger one as my pre-series pick to win as it appears that she is the nearest thing to the devil since the posh one from last year. But it is fantastic TV and it would appear that the producers have gone out of their way to find some of the thicket people in the UK. They need to keep Kevin the bank manager (really ? Is he perhaps someone who once opened a bank account as opposed to someone who approves loans of millions of pounds) and Raith for as long as possible. I did think the tough looking one, Lee would win but he appears to have started referring to himself in the third person (and that is never a good sing - it was exactly this that lead to the downfall of Clark Datchler and Johnny hates Jazz) but now I think it may be the soldier, Simon.
Tuesday, 25 March 2008
One day to go
The Apprentice is by far the greatest reality television show on television. It's so excrutiating seeing these cocksure ambitious types completely mess up a presentation to a proper business executive. It makes me feel much better about myself.
It reminds me of when I was training to be an accountant. They'd send you off on a residential management training course where you'd have to do Apprentice type tasks (obviously on a much smaller scale). Inevitably at some point on these courses I'd have to give a presentation to someone pretending to be a proper business executive, and no matter how awful I was, I was like Richard Branson compared to these jokers.
So here are the guesses for this year's Apprentice and it's all ladies. No one has picked a blokey.
Bentonbag = pink arrow
Friend of Mickey and Davie's TV Rant, GP = red arrow
Davie = blue arrow
Mickey = green arrow.
Any more guesses (and to be honest no-one else reads this rubbish so there won't be any more) will have to be received before 9pm tomorrow.
Monday, 24 March 2008
It has to be the ginger one
Thanks for the comedy tips Mickey. I had forgotten about Series 1 of Curb your Enthusiasm. It is because Mrs Davie has put it in a different drawer to my other DVD's. Out of sight out of mind I am afraid. I will rectify the situation tonight.
As for the Apprentice, I have to say that I am really looking forward to it. If previous series are anything to go by, the series at the very least gives me more confidence that anyone can succeed at work with just a modicum of intelligence. And without wishing to blow my own trumpet, I have more than a little. But it is cracking entertainment and the challenges are generally well designed and interesting. Having perused the photo I agree that it will be a woman who wins this year. But Mickey, my old comrade, I think you are wrong with your choice. It will of course be the ginger one next to your pick who will be crowned Sir Alan's apprentice this year. And that my friend is a fact.
As for the Apprentice, I have to say that I am really looking forward to it. If previous series are anything to go by, the series at the very least gives me more confidence that anyone can succeed at work with just a modicum of intelligence. And without wishing to blow my own trumpet, I have more than a little. But it is cracking entertainment and the challenges are generally well designed and interesting. Having perused the photo I agree that it will be a woman who wins this year. But Mickey, my old comrade, I think you are wrong with your choice. It will of course be the ginger one next to your pick who will be crowned Sir Alan's apprentice this year. And that my friend is a fact.
Saturday, 22 March 2008
Sitcoms for Davie
Okay then. So sitcom suggestions for Davie:
Peep Show - I missed the first couple of series as I found the situation where the sensitive one was getting bullied by school children a bit too close to my own life to be funny, but having given it a second chance, I realise that this is the funniest British sitcom in years.
The IT Crowd - Even if it hadn't been funny I would have forced myself to laugh at this and pretend to enjoy it, as it's written by one of the blokeys who wrote Father Ted. But it turns out that it's funny enough to not need my charity.
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Davie actually has series one on DVD. I can't believe he's blatantly complaining about having no comedy to watch when the disks are sitting unwatched in his DVD cabinet. Davie - your wife bought you those! Show a little gratitude and watch it!
The Office (American version) - I don't know whether it's really uncool to like this, but I do. Obviously it's not the Ricky Gervais one, but it has its moments. Currently being shown early on a Sunday morning on ITV2. Not really sure about ITV's programming strategy here.
Entourage - Not sure whether this is a sitcom or not. I don't laugh at it that much, but it's very entertaining, and it's done by HBO, so it's probably cool or something. Currently being shown early on a Sunday morning on ITV2. Not really sure about ITV's programming strategy here.
My Family - Oh Robert Lindsay, you've done it again! First Citizen Smith, then that thing about a boxer with the dreadful theme tune, and now My Family. Bravo Mr Lindsay, bravo!
With the Apprentice returning on Wednesday, it's only right to reintroduce the Mickey and Davie's TV Rant Guess Who Will Win The Apprentice Based Purely On The Publicity Photo competition. There are no prizes, so don't phone in, but everyone is welcome to have a go.
So I think this year it's time for a lady to win, and this one looks extremely competent. Oh yes.
The one under the green arrow. She's my tip.
Davie, care to take a guess?
Peep Show - I missed the first couple of series as I found the situation where the sensitive one was getting bullied by school children a bit too close to my own life to be funny, but having given it a second chance, I realise that this is the funniest British sitcom in years.
The IT Crowd - Even if it hadn't been funny I would have forced myself to laugh at this and pretend to enjoy it, as it's written by one of the blokeys who wrote Father Ted. But it turns out that it's funny enough to not need my charity.
Curb Your Enthusiasm - Davie actually has series one on DVD. I can't believe he's blatantly complaining about having no comedy to watch when the disks are sitting unwatched in his DVD cabinet. Davie - your wife bought you those! Show a little gratitude and watch it!
The Office (American version) - I don't know whether it's really uncool to like this, but I do. Obviously it's not the Ricky Gervais one, but it has its moments. Currently being shown early on a Sunday morning on ITV2. Not really sure about ITV's programming strategy here.
Entourage - Not sure whether this is a sitcom or not. I don't laugh at it that much, but it's very entertaining, and it's done by HBO, so it's probably cool or something. Currently being shown early on a Sunday morning on ITV2. Not really sure about ITV's programming strategy here.
My Family - Oh Robert Lindsay, you've done it again! First Citizen Smith, then that thing about a boxer with the dreadful theme tune, and now My Family. Bravo Mr Lindsay, bravo!
With the Apprentice returning on Wednesday, it's only right to reintroduce the Mickey and Davie's TV Rant Guess Who Will Win The Apprentice Based Purely On The Publicity Photo competition. There are no prizes, so don't phone in, but everyone is welcome to have a go.
So I think this year it's time for a lady to win, and this one looks extremely competent. Oh yes.
The one under the green arrow. She's my tip.
Davie, care to take a guess?
Saturday, 15 March 2008
Lazy Channel 4
I read Mickey's assassination of Kevin Mcleod with interest. I like Kev - I like the fact that he owns 365 coats and wears them in rotation. I also like the fact that he tries to dramatise what is essentially a fairly calm and staid programme. I like Grand Designs as a programme as I find it interesting what people will put themselves through to build a house. However, much as I like it, I am not a fan of Channel's 4 decision to string out the series like it is currently doing. Grand Designs revisited is a terrible concept. It is cheap and Channel 4 know it. To simply rehash the programme and add a couple of minutes where Kevin walks up the drive and has a quick chat with the owners of the house as to how they have enjoyed living in it is not my idea of cutting edge TV. The fact that it is preceded by Location Location revisited where Phil is now visiting people he and Kirsty helped means that Wednesday night is 2 hours of prime time repeats. Come on Channel 4 you can do better than this.
On the plus side of life I am still looking for suggestions on sit-coms I should be watching and I am delighted that Kirsty Gallagher and Ian Wright have been picked as the new hosts for Gladiators. I am currently trying to persuade Mickey to pump some iron and then he can enter what is bound to be the hit series of the summer.
On the plus side of life I am still looking for suggestions on sit-coms I should be watching and I am delighted that Kirsty Gallagher and Ian Wright have been picked as the new hosts for Gladiators. I am currently trying to persuade Mickey to pump some iron and then he can enter what is bound to be the hit series of the summer.
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