The Eight Deaths of Television

Hey now Davie. I know Richard was your favourite. He was my favourite as well. Him being sacked from DD is an injustice and a travesty, but the death of television? Surely that's something that will happen this week when BB8 starts.

Yes, I've cunningly started this post by referencing Davie's last post then shoehorning in a reference to what I really want to write about. Big Brother.

Summer is about to start and all the good programmes on television have finished or will finish within weeks. The magnificent Battlestar Galactica finished a couple of weeks ago (great ending by the way). 24 and Lost will finish within the next week and a bit. I think Day Break might be about to end as well (Day Break is really good! It's about a cop forced to live the same day over and over again like in that film, and each episode he gets closer to find out who has framed him for murder. And he does a little narrative at the start which is reminiscent of Jack Bauer's "longest day of my life" narrative at the start of the first series of 24. I'm really enjoying it).

Oh and there are only three more Apprentices.

So the point I'm making is that apart from Doctor Who, Heroes and the Daily Show, that'll be it for Mickey's viewing in Summer.

It's not a new problem, it's just that this year I've decided that I'm not going to watch Big Brother (you see, it's all coming together).

Firstly because it's all been done before, they can't top BB3 with Alex and Jade before she was famous, and no amount of intrahouse conflict will be as good as the almost violent BB5.

Secondly because I hate all housemates once they've left the house and think that it can be used as some sort of springboard to a career in the media and a showbiz lifestyle. Look at Davie and me, we've sweated blood over our careers. It's only after months of hard work delivering opinions that we can now hob nob with the likes of the Rugby League correspondent from the York Evening Press. And yet the likes of Doris from Big Brother 4 thinks that a couple of weeks sleeping in a house with the dullest people in the country entitles her to my lifestyle? I think not, Doris. I think not.

Finally because of Davina McCall. Her awful gawping at the camera, her sly winks and knowing chuckles, her viciously offensive assumption that we're watching Big Brother because of her. She's not as bad as Jennie Bond, but she's close. She's very close.

I'll watch the first one, just to see who's in it. Y'know.

Friday's viewing

• GBM - The results show. The results were that for each course the public agreed totally with the judges, so having a public vote was a complete waste of time, money and effort, just like I implied in my last post. This proves that I am excellent. The starter and the fish course both contained a lot of egg so if they invite me to the Ambassador's Dinner in Paris I shall decline as I am no fan of the egg.
• The Aristocrats - An unusual film where a lot of comedians discuss an unamusing but offensive joke that is popular amongst comedians.
• Have I Got News For You - Alexander Armstrong was the host. I was at University with Alexander Armstrong. I never spoke to him. He was one of the cool kids and I was a mathematician from the North East. But now look at us.