John and Greg then explain to each other about how the celebrities will have to cook well if they want to win the competition. This is interspersed with footage of said celebrities explaining how they would like to win the competition.
And as the title comes up on screen saying "Celebrity Masterchef", she announces (dramatically) "It's Celebrity Masterchef!"
During the next half hour she then explains (dramatically) who the celebrities are.
("Sue Cook is the well loved television presenter." Well loved? Sue Cook? She's not disliked, I grant you, but would you put her in the same league as Norman Wisdom?)
She goes on to explain what the celebrities are about to do. She then explains (dramatically) what the celebrities are doing. She also reminds us (dramatically) what the celebrities have done. All very dramatic, all building up the tension, all speculating on what will happen next.
"Spider off of Coronation Street impressed with his tuna and cheese melt in the invention test, and he excelled in the professional kitchen. But will he be able to keep up this great form in the Final Test?
"Her out of Cash In The Attic had mixed reviews for her spaghetti hoops, and she struggled with the pressure of the professional kitchen. But will she be able to I don't know do better in the Final Test?" Etc.
It's easy to just ignore her rubbish narration, but if you actually take time to listen to what she is saying, really concentrate, you realise that she's just talking for the sake of talking. She adds nothing. There. Is. No. Need. For. Her. To. Be. There.
She's always been on it, it's just that I hadn't really noticed how annoying it was until it was pointed out to me. By my mother. It really riles Mickey's Ma. And now it really riles Mickey.
And how come all the programmes I like get cancelled and that's it, while the absolute rubbish which was Jericho has a few fanboys sending peanuts to some CBS executives and suddenly they're all, "ooh let us make you another seven episodes fanboys!"? And now I hear that the best television series ever, Battlestar Galactica, has only one series left. I just hope they do a reimagining of Galactica 1980 as a follow up series.
And SrAlan didn't fire that awful fame seeking want-to-be (as I like to call them), she pulled out herself just so she can get a story in the Daily Mail. Let's all agree from now on, if she's ever on television again (and she will be) we all just turn over.
Oh, and well done Sky for taking Prison Break from Channel five. Once again you take anything half decent away from free to air television and force people to pay for your damn dish. "This edge-of-the-seat drama is the perfect addition to our must-see slate of US programming." says David Smyth, head of acquisitions at Sky One. Does your mother know what you do for a living, Smyth? Can you look your children in the eye, Smyth? Can you?? Smyth??
Here's my television viewing from the night before:
- The Apprentice and The Apprentice You're Fired - So farewell Lohit. You were my tip (based purely on appearances, remember) for winning this year's series. Though I knew that you would never win once you opened your mouth, it was always good to see you progress further than Davie's and friend of Mickey and Davie's TV Rant, GP's tips. This means that I win the tile with a picture of a chimpanzee sitting on the toilet and holding a banana, which was mine in the first place and which I wouldn't have given away had I lost.
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