Apprentice Series Five. Pick Your Winner

Finally, the wait is over. The Apprentice is back on Wednesday. But more importantly, this sees the return of the most popular no prized competition in the history of humanity. Yes. It's time for this year's Mickey and Davie's TV Rant's Who Is Going To Win The Apprentice (Based Purely On Appearance Remember) competition.

And here are the fifteen we've got to choose from:

Over the past few days I've been collecting initial entries from people I've seen in real life. Anyone who still reads this rubbish and who wants to join in the fun (and believe me, it really is a whole lot of fun) feel free to leave a comment and I'll make sure your entry is logged. Please remember though, there are no prizes, and if you leave your comment after the first episode has aired then your vote won't count and you may still be charged.

I myself thought long and hard before deciding on my winner. Last year I incorrectly thought it was going to be Jenny Celeriac (or whatever her name is). I should have realised that it was a mistake seeing as I've got some sort of intolerence with all things that begin with celer-. (It's not an allergy, but believe me, it's still very unpleasant).

But this year, I still think it's going to be a lady, and I'm going for the one on the right at the front with the big curly hair.

She'll annoy me, and I'll not want her to win, but Sir Alan will like her no nonsense in your face attitude and her inability to recognise her own weaknesses.

Davie has decided to go for James. He's the blokey on the far right, next to the beauty queen. He looks a bit too smug for my liking. A little bit cocky. I don't like him myself.

Last year, Mrs Davie went for Kevin, the Matt Lucas lookalike who I think may have been the most incompetent man on television. His incompetence was only matched by his lack of self-awareness. As a result, Mrs Davie will not be choosing this year. Last year's shame still hurts.

Friend of Mickey and Davie's TV Rant GP usually picks the one who is first out. And by picking Lorraine, I think he'll keep up his losing streak. Yes, she's wearing glasses, but so did Andy in series 3, and we know what happened to him.

Young Joe, Friend of Mickey and Davie's TV Rant GP's son, is a bit of a ladies man, and has gone for Kate, while his mother (who likes to keep things local) has gone for Philip, an Estate Agent from Co Durham.




Finally, to Stannaz and Mrs Stannaz. Stannaz and I think alike (apart from Stannaz being a huge fan of all things beginning with celer-). He's gone for Paula, like me. His wife, Mrs Stannaz is a big fan of sandwiches, Middlesbrough and boxing films and so has gone for Rocky, the sandwich chain owner from Teesside.

So there you have it. Possibly the dullest thing I've ever written, although look back over the past couple of years worth of ramblings and you may be able to find an entry that will prove me wrong.