Kevin McCloud

There's only so much Kevin McCloud you can take before he starts irritating you. In the past I've found his dramatic pauses and pompous asides quite endearing. I've enjoyed pretending to be Kevin, although I only own two coats.

But recently he has begun to annoy me. Every building he visits, he goes on about the vision of the architect, and the passion of the owner. He goes on about integrity, the sustainability of the materials, how faithful the property will be to its surroundings. And then.

And then, he pauses, thinks about what he's about to say, and says something like "Martin first undertook this project to give his family the dream home they always wanted. I'm worried that this so-called dream home, is turning into (slight pause) a nightmare." And then it goes onto a commercial break.

With his hard hat and his numerous coats, I'm beginning to think he's a one trick pony. We need to see more variety from you, Kevin, and there's only one way to do that. Strictly Come Dancing 2008. Get yourself partnering that Flavia lass.