What about What about Brian?

HAH A HAH AH AHA HAA. Look what me funnee did? I'm so very clever and amusing.

Davie has just experienced what happens all the time with my programmes. Cancellation without resolving the plot.

Farscape ended with the two heroes being shattered into thousands of pieces by an unknown alien. Twin Peaks ended with Agent Dale Cooper taken over by Killer Bob laughing into the mirror as Heather Graham did something or other in the bathroom (or something, I'm writing from memory here). The Tripods ended with Will and Beanpole (played by Ceri Seel as I remember) getting back to their camp only to find that the Tripods appeared to have killed everyone. All because some tv executive knows that I quite enjoy the programme.

All the programmes Dave has ever watched either go on forever (e.g. The Bill) or end naturally with all plot loose ends tied up (e.g. The West Wing, NYPD Blue).

But now Davie, the boot is on the other foot. Now you can feel the frustration that I feel of never knowing how David Boreanaz and his rag-tag band of followers got out of the big fighty situation they were in when Angel got cancelled. You will relive Brian's argument over and over again in your sleep just like I still wake up hearing Avon's laughter at the end of Blake's Seven.

(I once saw Blake out of Blake's Seven. I was going into the gents and he was coming out of the gents. It wasn't that much of a coincidence though as it was at a Blake's Seven convention.)

Anyway, my point is that it always happens to me and you don't catch me complaining. Apart from when I complained about it a few posts ago.

And another thing. What About Brian has been cancelled but because Channel Four are so far behind, you've still got another series to watch. Davie's fallen on his feet once again. Just like always.

Here are my thoughts on the reality programmes which were on television last night:

• Apprentice and Apprentice You're Fired - An absolute mockery. How S'rAlan could sack Naomi after Simon's utter disaster of an effort is beyond me. Still, Lohit's still in it, although I can't see him getting past the interviews. Kristina and Tre will make it past the interviews and Kristina will win. Whey, that's Mickey's tip for you.
• Oh, and another Mickey's tip for the producers of The Apprentice You're Fired - Stop putting that awful twisted nasty woman on my television. If there's anyone I hate more than Jennie Bond, it's Vanessa Feltz with her populist rants and "outrageous but a lot of sense when you think about it" opinions. I hate Feltz more than I hate Katie.
• Big Brother - What a great bunch of people. I hope the twins win. They look like a lot of fun! I wish I'd been in the crowd! And all female! What an intriguing twist!

I was actually going to write about the welcome return of Masterchef in its Summer Celebrity format but I got sidetracked by Davie's What About Brian thing, and when I'd thought of that Brilliant title for this blog entry I decided that CM must wait. Don't worry, Opinions-about-John-and-Gregg fans! I'll have some hilariously witty observations about them next time.