Not content with me losing Sky One, Sky News and Sky Sports News, they replace these channels with lighthearted jokes at Sky's expense.
I am a pretty angry customer. In fact, I can honestly say I have never been more angry about my television ever. Not even in the dark days of On Digital and my dodgy aerial connection where pixels and freezing screens were the norm. My favourite programmes have gone off my screen and Virgin are acting as though they've done me a favour!
They've changed the name of Sky News to (hold on people, you may hurt yourself) Sky Snooze! What they've done, in an amusing and mature way, is replace the word "News" with "Snooze". It's funny! Perhaps they hired the advertising company that spends all of its time trying to find pop songs with a two syllable title so that they can replace it with "Extra".
Anyway, the thigh slapping jocularity that ensued from such a jape more than made up for my utter mindless fury at not having my Sky One.
What was really funny though was what they've done to Sky Sports News. What they've done, right, is, right, they've changed the name, right, to Sky Sports Snooze! It's a work of genius. A seriously funny hoot of a gag! I'm shaking my head with glee, there are tears in my eyes and my nose is streaming. Not since the last episode of season three of Curb Your Enthusiasm have I laughed more. Eeh. I almost wet meself.
Virgin should at least realise that at least some of its customers will be extremely annoyed at losing Sky One. What does not help is them making utterly unfunny jibes at Sky. It makes them look immature, unbusinesslike and unwilling to reach any solution.
This smug attitude, in the face of my overwhelming and seriously inappropriate despair, is the egg flavoured icing on a cake made of celery and hair.
Ah well, never mind. I can always get to see the programmes by borrowing videos/video players etc, or I can wait for the DVDs. It's not the end of the world. That is the attitude I should be having. But I know that for me the next few nights will be difficult. What little sleep I do get will be haunted by dreams of the laughing faces of Murdoch and Branson taking everything I hold dear away from me, piece by precious piece.
What I watched last night:
- Dragon's Den (Brilliant as always. It seems there was a new rule this episode, whereby the contestants had to persuade the dragons to invest all the money they asked for, otherwise they wouldn't get a penny!)
- Grand Designs (Watched at Davie's with the Prince and Hasto. Not only did we have cake, but we all did Kevin McCloud impressions throughout the ninety minute programme. I bet you wish you were me!)
- 24 (I went round Davie's and watched it there. Mrs Davie was away on business, so he needed a bit of company. He's not used to the soul-destroying loneliness that I experience every day).
- Lost (My last ever viewing of Sky One using Virgin. Grieve not for me!)
I didn't watch Masterchef Goes Large - I recorded it though, so I'll watch it tonight.
My new iron works by the way. As I walked around the office today, the clean lines of my crisply ironed shirt gave me the air of confidence I hadn't experienced since my mother last did my ironing so many years ago.
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